Dumb things I did Today

1. I broke an egg. It was in my hand, then it was all over the floor. Not really sure what happened. 2. Burned some plastic on the stove. I was making eggs and I didn't realize that some plastic thing was touching the stove top. "Hey, what smells like burning plastic?" 3. Ate dinner when it was too hot, burning my tongue. 4. I gave up trying to change the time on my cell phone because I think that it's evil, and I don't want to mess with that. 5. Posted a list of dumb things I did on my blog. To be continued.

Mischievous persons

I was sitting all peacefully at school yesterday, just doing some reading before class like a nice girl. Out of nowhere, my phone does that little vibrate thing that tells me I have a text message. This is what it said: "You have 20 minutes to move your car." I did't know who sent it, so I was puzzled for a moment. And then I started to panic...my thought process went something like this: I don't have a car that I have to move (or, do I? And since when?!) Maybe it's actually my dad's car that they want moved - but why would they contact me? And who are "they"?! And what do they want from me?! About 20 seconds later, I got another message: "You have 10 minutes to move your car." Now I thought, who is this freak that is sending me these messages? I start getting paranoid again. 20 seconds later: "Your car is being towed." 20 seconds later: "Your car is being crushed into a cube." 20 seonds later: "You have 20 minutes to move your cube." I am quite puzzled, and rather amused. The main point of this post is really to tell whoever it is that is sending me these messages thank you for diverting me at a time when I was bored. Well actually...there is really no "main point" to this post. Sorry.

Hey, no Henna?

So on Sunday night, I was getting into the mindset of Eid (yes, I was a Monday-er), getting ready to go to sleep because of the early prayer the next morning. But alas, there was no rest written for me that night... At around midnight, a friend who was planning on celebrating Eid on Tuesday phoned me and started yelling hysterically over the phone - the moon was sighted! For about a minute or so, her and I screamed things like "OH MY GOD" and "THIS IS SO COOL" and "I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING" etc. It's not like we were even going to see each other on Eid, but the fact that Toronto was celebrating Eid on one day was quite beautiful. So I signed onto MSN after vowing not to use it again that night (oh, the lies). And I started messaging people Eid greetings. People were in shock. They had expected Eid to be Tuesday so they weren't prepared at all. The sheer wasn't made, the clothes weren't ironed, the house wasn't meticulously cleaned, and the henna wasn't applied. How could this be happening?! A sense of excitement was in the air, mingled with some panic, but still :) And since everyone celebrated Eid on the same day, the prayer was packed... (And that's only half of the women's section) SubhanAllah. Eid was so beautiful. Even if there was no sheer.

Bittersweet Eid

So it has come to this: the last day of Ramadan. The last few hours, few moments, few minutes. It's kind of fascinating how Ramadan changes people. How people who are otherwise not very religious start to abstain from bad things and increase their worship and God-consciousness. My sister in Egypt noticed the same transformation, even though it is a Muslim country:

As I was walking home I noticed that people were reading Quran everywhere. In the taxis, waiting for a bus, in the mosque, and men that just happened to be sitting/standing around. Their lips and tongues were busy with the remembrance of Allah. It was a wonderful sight.

That's why Eid has always been somewhat of a bittersweet celebration for me. I'm sad because this opportunity is over and I don't know if I'll live to see the next one. It's always a tiny bit sad because I know people will stop caring about Islam after Ramadan and start up all their bad deeds again. The masajid become empty once more, the smooth pages of the Qur'an aren't felt or read out loud or muttered under people's breath on the subway anymore. Autumn is just autumn now, not Ramadan-Autumn, this is when the leaves really start to fall. But then when I'm down I remember that Allah doesn't end. His Light never goes out the way that Ramadan's blessings end. He is still The Most Merciful, The Forgiving. He is all-year-round. And then I feel Eid.

"Protect your banana!"

Do you like Bruised Bananas?

You know the feeling, just when you fancy eating that banana you've been carrying around, you dig it out from the bottom of your bag to discover it looks like it has gone a few rounds with Mike Tyson.

How many times have you taken your banana to work or school only to find it transformed into a black inedible mess? Only hours before your banana was perfect, now it is just fit for the bin.

How can you stop this happening to you again? Transport your banana in a BananaGuard and never throw your banana away again!

• This sturdy plastic case is designed to fit the majority of bananas.
• Comes in 9 Fantastic Colours.
• Easy Snap/Click opening and closing action.
• Dishwasher Safe.
• Great for use in:
  • Rucksacks
  • School Bags
  • Briefcases
  • Golf Bags
  • Or even on its own with the aid of our BananaGuard Holster (Coming Soon).
• Ideal for use by all the family.
• Makes a great gift for banana lovers everywhere.

The BananaGuard is also great for keeping the inside of your bag free from "Banana Mush". No more messy jackets or books to clean.

Keep Britain tidy and take your banana skin home in your BananaGuard.

We Brits love our bananas. Yearly consumption in the UK currently stands at 13kg a head. Considering the population is around 60 million, thats a lot of bananas. Not surprising really as bananas are very good for you. Packed with energy, fibre and vitamins. Rich in potassium and low in calories.

Its time you returned the favour and took more care of your banana.

Other items that fit into a BananaGuard:

• Grapes & any other small soft fruits
• Cherry Tomatoes
• 6 Cream Eggs (Useful for posting to Australia)
• Toothpaste & Toothbrush whilst Trekking

The BananaGuard currently comes in 9 colours, available online:

• Ravishing Red
• Outrageous Orange
• Mellow Yellow
• Sublime Green
• Skyhigh Blue
• DeepSea Blue
• Passionate Purple
• Pretty in Pink
• Glow in the Dark

(Don't you want to hurt these people?)

A Woman's Guide to the Last 10 Nights of Ramadan

We're coming into the last ten days and nights of Ramadan, so sometimes we need a little bit of a guide on how to deal with some "situations" that may arise during this time at your local mosque... 1. What not to wear. Don't wear black shoes to the masjid. You'll thank me for this when you're done praying and there are 100 women trying to find their shoes in a small box-like area. At the same time. And all of their shoes are black. 2. Kids running through the lines of prayer & how to deal. Let me break it down for you: it's very distracting when children are running through the lines while you're praying. I'm not talking about really young kids who don't know what they're doing. I'm talking about the feisty 4-7 year olds who are playing hide-and-go-seek in your abaya and tag or soccer through the lines. You think I'm joking, but I'm not (I suppose this is only a problem in the women's section). What I used to do was ignore them, then get really mad while praying so that I could barely even attempt to concentrate. Right thing to do? Wrong. This is what you do: as the kid is running in front of you, grab him/her by the shirt and push him/her in the direction of the end of the line. Surprisingly, that is LESS of a distraction to you than ignoring it. Plus, the other women in the line who weren't brave enough to do this will silently appreciate your work. (If the situation involves a ball of some sort, and the child is...oh I don't know...throwing it at people's heads in sujood, take the ball away and ignore the child's cries.) 3. Placing your belongings in a safe place. Nothing sucks more than finishing your prayer and saying "Alhamdulillah that was nice," then finding out that your keys/wallet/phone/cookies have disappeared from your bag. I was at prayer a few days ago and I put my bag in front of me. Silly me, I left the zipper on it opened. So a little girl comes crawling through the aisle in front of me (yes, I'm calling them aisles from now on) and starts rummaging through my things. Specifically, I had a cookie in my bag that she took out and started playing with. So I was looking at her and thinking "oh man, when is the imam gonna finish, I need to secure my cookie!" Luckily the prayer was done shortly thereafter and I took the cookie away from her and zipped my bag shut (you may be shaking your head at how cruel I am, but she was a baby and probably wasn't capable of eating solids. Plus it was mine.) 4. What to wear, part two. Take a sweater with you, or a jacket. Because either it's going to be really hot, or really cold - depending on whether or not the mosque caretakers choose to crank up the air conditioning to an unhealthy level. And if they don't, pressing against people for an hour or two won't make it pleasant weather. It's best to be prepared, either way. 5. Hanging out at the entrace or exit of the mosque. We're not at the masjid to check out guys, but some guys are there to find their future wives. And since there is likely a divider between the women and men in the actual prayer hall, the outside of the masjid is perfect. So don't just stand there. And preferably, have some pepper spray on you just in case a guy looks at you in the wrong way (I kid, I kid! kind of). Of course, girls aren't totally innocent either. But in any case, it's Ramadan man. Have some respect for yourself and the place of worship. 6. Don't stop to buy halal marshmallows in the lobby. Look. I know they're halal and they taste good, so the temptation is really great. But you're already getting fat enough in Ramadan. 7. What really matters: good intentions. Make your intention to please Allah (swt), that's really all that matters. Ramadan is a time where people are freed from the fire, so let's try to be among those, inshaAllah.

Asmaa is currently going through a cycle of sleep deprevation, please hang up now.

Today, October 11th is school's monthaversary. I started exactly one month ago today. What did I do to celebrate? I inadvertently slept in and missed my first class (barakah ya gami'). <--- This is what I want to do now. I definitely wouldn't be that cute, but I'd enjoy the sleep as much as any baby would. In other news, I have a monstrous test today that I'm not ready for. And I'll probably break my fast during the test with a lollipop...a Halloween lollipop. EDIT: I'm trying to study and there's this group of people sitting in the next room, someone's playing a guitar and they're singing about their lord Jesus (na'uthubillah). They're singing quite badly and I'm getting very agitated. Very very very agitated. Very. Edit #2: pretty sure I failed that test. Haha

Thinging of that Think.

I am writing this to reach out to you many bloggers on something that has been troubling me for some time. It is extremely troubling that I have come to the realization that I no longer know how to spell. Now, all you English-lovers/Majors out there that know me may be thinking to yourself right now "and yeah, how is that any different from before you travelled?" But seriously, I'm forgetting how to spell "the". I'm writing Thing instead of Think, and vice versa. I'm writing without prober grammar or punctuation. Opps Proper. Oh yeah, the letter "P" Exists in the English language. I forgets. How can I cure this? I've taken up reading random novels from my school library in order to keep my language skills alive. Any other suggestions for a language-deficient individual?

ps: I want your first-born son

My little sister and I had an interesting MSN conversation just now (she's just in the other room by the way)...her nickname was this: "Cinderella, cinderella, you better run at the stroke of midnight." Me: you're not cinderella Me: face it, you have big feet Her: meaann! Me: I'm cinderella, okay. Her: more like rumpelstiltskin