On the Superiority of Free Food

Driven by a general school-induced state of poverty, free food (when I'm not at home) has always had a special glistening appeal. Free food and I, however, have an interesting relationship. Sometimes it's great, sometimes not so much.

In undergrad, I somehow found myself at multitudes of events that served free food (I will credit my over zealous involvement in student life). And not just your run-of-the-mill stale pizza - sometimes I would luck out and happen upon high class unversity luncheons and such with strange and yummy delicacies. I developed a reputation for being a free food magnet. Whenever I would hang out with a friend, that friend would inevitably receive free food as well. Needless to say, this made me popular.

It also gave me a twisted sort of satisfaction that I was finally getting something free from a university that was akin to a parasite burrowing through my bank account.

Recently, however, this trend has seen some rough times. For example, I hear of an event at my faculty that is serving food and all the little piggish molecules in my brain start jumping up and down with glee. But when I arrive, I find that there's only pepperoni pizza at this event. My poor brain molecules are on such a high by this time that the disappointment and resentment of all things oinky is grand indeed.

Why, you ask, am I so thoroughly obsessed? Well you see, just as some humans go deer hunting for sport, and some go hunting for crazy discounts on shoes, bags, electronics, etc., I also embark on such a journey of thrill. Except my thrill is to hunt for free food.

As twisted as it sounds, there's something so shiny and appealing about taking a bite into something that someone else paid for. I mean, a slice of pizza or cake you didn't pay for tastes oh so much sweeter than one you've had to fork over a couple of bucks for.

In conclusion, I shall continue to refine my skills in this valuable arena. Any suggestions for personal improvement are welcome.