The thing I wanted the most when I was younger was to grow up so I could be independent, make my own choices, move out of my parents' home. I craved these things - I craved the thought of the hypothetically brilliant process of self-discovery I would go through when I was "older." I can't remember how many times I've thought about how great it would be to leave home, or mutter under my breath "I can't wait to move out" or some angrier variation of that. I thought everything would be easier, better if I didn't have to put up with the quirks of my family anymore.
But boy was I wrong (as I'm discovering that I was/am basically wrong about everything I thought was true).
I'm currently in the mental gear of finally moving away from the people I've lived with for the past 25 years. And it's not all it's cracked up to be.
Now I'm dreading this stage of life where I'll have to make real decisions. Decisions that involve thinking about uprooting myself and moving to a new country. Decisions involving finances - and not just "can I afford these shoes" decisions; now it's more like "if I don't get this job what will I do for rent" decisions. Decisions about starting a family. These are stressful things to think about.
My ever-coveted "independence" is naturally also hard on the heart.
Growing up sucks.
3 comments:
what do you mean by moving to a different country?
sniff sniff...don't leave canada.
are you thinking about the states?
I told you it'd happen... you have a wonderful habit of making me look correct so often. :P
Anon, not the states. Some place across the ocean :)
Nauman, yeah yeah, you win.
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