Thursday, June 02, 2011

Nothing is Random

About a year ago, my brother was suddenly admitted into the ICU for what had initially seemed to be a regular bout of the flu. As it turns out, his symptoms were caused by something much more serious. His body had formed massive blood clots in his extremities, and any dislodged blood clots traveling into his heart or lungs could have been an easy cause for sudden death. But it wasn't his time to die yet, so after a lengthy and stressful few weeks in the hospital, he was home recovering.

It struck me at the time because he was a healthy, active, and young. And none of those adjectives are usually attached to what our mental image is of someone facing death. But there we were, living out of hospital waiting rooms and neglecting everything external to that reality.

But nothing is random.

There are literally millions of things that could go wrong with your body at any given moment. If one hormone is imbalanced, if one organ isn't functioning just right, if one body part gets jostled too hard...anything could happen. You could die today. You could die reading this. I could die writing this.

I always thought that I knew that nothing was random, that everything has a purpose in the grand scheme of our existence. But I didn't until now. Sure, I thought about life's big events as having purpose, but I never gave much thought to the small, seemingly meaningless words, actions, events that were all lining up a certain way so that an end could be achieved. An end that you may not have ever thought plausible.

No, nothing is random. My sister had to give birth at a specific time last year so that I could go visit her with my mom, so that I could just happen to meet my (now) husband on that same trip. If any part of that story had changed, perhaps the outcome would have changed as well.

And so I've been thinking about all the people I know, the places I've been, the experiences I've had (and am having). So many conversations, so many feelings, frustrations, facial expressions, moments of existence. Many of them seem random, but as I'm sure you've gathered by now: nothing is random.

And you're not alive randomly either. Your blood isn't successfully pulsing through your veins because of a random sequence of numbers and events. You are not random. I am not random. But we spend our lives as if we are. As if the things we say or do have no meaning.

You're not random. If you're alive right now, there is a reason for it. All the things that could have gone wrong with your body internally or externally...didn't. You're still here. You still have some purpose to fulfill.

Make it worthwhile.


Sabah said...

Asmaa, I randomly (or not so randomly, since nothing is random) came on your blog today and subhanAllah this was exactly what I was feeling just like 5 seconds ago. how weird is that, right?

Sometimes i feel like the things we do in our lives, the jobs we have, the houses we decorate, the events we attend etc etc. are all big distractions and we want to do this to ourselves, distracting ourselves constantly, because it's easier to be busy all the time and not think about our life, then to contemplate why we are the way we are, and why we do the things we do.

anyway, thanks for this post =) it totally echoes what i've been feeling lately.

Teacher S. said...

Assalamu aleikum,

Beautiful post, dear friend. Wish I had time to properly reply and add to the conversation. But a brief thought - I was reminded of this:

"....And it may be that you dislike something while it is good for you; and it may be that you love something while it is bad for you. And Allah knows while you do not know." (from v216, Suratul Baqarah)

Asmaa said...

Sabah, it wasn't random that you happened upon the post ;) I'm glad that you enjoyed it.

Teacher S. walaikum assalaam ya sheikh! Thanks for the reminder, I miss you =)

Anonymous said...

i love this post
every time i read it

eye <3