Thursday, January 30, 2014

Sometimes I wish I had more time to write, and not just little bursts of opportunities when my daughter decides to take a nap.

Grief is a strange thing. It leaves you in peace for some moments and comes back with a vengeance at the drop of a hat. Things that used to be easy are difficult now. And things that used to be difficult don't even matter anymore. I supposed priorities are deeply changed when your life partner is no longer by your side. The things you thought mattered just don't anymore. There isn't a more eloquent way of saying's just that simple.

It's strange to try to imagine my future now. The future has always been uncertain, but I came to expect at least a little bit of predictability. Now I constantly wonder where I'll live and what I'll do for the next few years. And more than anything I wonder if I'll go back to a life of mediocrity or if I'll make a difference in the world.

My heart breaks at the idea that I may live in mediocrity.