Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Fitting things to do on a Wednesday when you've only had one hour of sleep

a) Pretend to be Safiyyah Ally's sister.
b) Tell people that you are a white convert to Islam.
c) Laugh hysterically when a fob says "the backside of the room" when he really means "the back of the room."
d) Chase someone in the dark with a skirt on, while running past the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health.
e) Pretend to be Safiyyah Ally.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

fairy tale goodness

Once upon a time there was a girl and a cookie.

The girl longed for the cookie and pined after it night and day. Her thoughts were preoccupied with its beautiful round edges and yet jagged surface. The protruding chocolate chunks were the object of her insatiable desire. And the scent of cookie-goodness invaded her nostrils.

She decided that this was no way to live! Life was not worth the pain without the beautiful cookie in her possession. Thereupon, the girl seized the cookie with startling violence and crammed it into her mouth and grinned as the crumbs fell haphazardly onto her lap.

Once upon a time there was a brownie...

Monday, November 13, 2006

Annoying Text Messages: Part II

So I've gotten some more anonymous strange and unusual text messages recently. I've decided to keep a log of them on my blog whenever I get more:

November 10, 2006

3:02pm You Kicked my dog. You must now pay $29.99 for every bark she makes that sounds like a whoopee cushion. You must also give up a bone of yours to her.

3:04pm Warning! Excessive exposure to oxygenated air can cause one's lungs to start expanding and contracting! Be warned!

3:09pm Warning! Trix are for kids! Stop the rabbit from eating any at ALL COSTS! You will be compensated for all damages incurred by that rabbit.

3:10pm Warning! Robarts is under attack from literary books! Save the library by taking each book and throwing it out the window. Avoid hitting the squirrels.

November 13, 2006

12:22pm Warning! Your phone has been infected with the Timbuktu virus! To save your phone from damage submerge in water. Elexctrical sparks are normal.

12:26pm Warning! Aliens have landed in Malton! They bring strange spices, wear turbans and assault all humans with pungent odours! Beware!

I'm actually beginning to get irritated now.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Here I come to save the day...

My foolish, but rather talented friend drew this:

I have to admit, it's a pretty good depiction of me - especially my hijab covering half of the "A." Watch out shirkers, Asmaa's a-comin' to getcha!

Please note that Asmaa will also be willing to come and get individuals who bother and/or irritate her friends and loved ones. Elligibility for Asmaa's Super-powers will be determined on a case-by-case basis.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Scary stuff...

Yeah so, I've just been informed that I answered my phone last night while I was asleep. This is what happened:

I went to sleep early because I was tired. And then my friend called me around midnight and apparently I actually answered the phone (though I have no memory of this fact). Since I sounded tired, she asked me "did I wake you up?" I said "no, it's okay, I was just getting ready to go to sleep." And then I promptly hung up on her.

Of course, she didn't know that I was sleep-talking to her. So she tried to call me back several times to no avail and ended up leaving a message on my phone. Apparently I also checked that message while I was asleep, and I saved it, too! And then I was listening to it tonight and I was bewildered because I had no recollection of this! This greatly perturbs me.

This isn't the first instance of sleep-talking either. I've said some strange and unusual things in my sleep...which I will not share at this moment. Why am I so scary? :(

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

new lows: reposted for the benefit of Toucan Sam

a) a bus driver speaking on his cell phone (boy do I feel safe!)

b) a couple making out on a rush-hour-packed subway car. Loudly. (Please get a room, you're causing my lunch to crawl up my stomach and into my throat.)

To be continued. Maybe.

Sunday, November 05, 2006


So, we all know the "boys are stupid, throw rocks at them" rhetoric. Recently, a certain someone who shall not be named for his own protection (or else some girls with large rocks may come after him), made a sad sad version of the opposite:

Other than the fact that it seems like this girl doesn't ever brush her hair, what a lame attempt. Clearly, this reinforces my previously held opinion that boys (in addition to being stupid) also have cooties. Only cooties could cause such delirious idiocy. Which explains my new button: