Friday, December 29, 2006

Birthday Musings over a Jelly Donut (and a glass of milk)


This jelly donut looks so round and white. Yum. I deserve this. I'm 21 today, so why not be 21 while eating a jelly donut and having a white mustache of sugar and milk?

Hmm, this jelly donut is kind of stale. Stupid Tim Hortons! "Baked fresh daily" my foot! I kind of feel stale too. 21 years and not much to show for it. Except some laugh lines around my mouth.

Yes, finally hit the jelly! What a sham - jelly donuts only have a tiny smidge of jelly. They should call them "jelly in the haystack" donuts. The rest is just stale pastry covered in powdery sugar that gets all over your face.

This jelly is starting to look like blood! Why am I so violent? Maybe 21 is a violent age. I mean, it's so old, I'm not ready to be 21! 21 means I'm going to expire soon. My best before date is coming! Stupid donut!

Okay, now I just feel like barfing. Donut overload :(

Okay just one last piece, I can do this! And I can do 21 without being scared. I can face it! Maybe.

Done. that a boston cream?


Al-Hajju 'Arafah

Right now, like right right now, millions of Muslims are going towards and standing on the mountain of Arafah in Makkah. The same mountain that prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) stood on and gave his last speech, his farewell sermon.

The pilgrims are walking to the mountain, some riding in cars, some riding buses, for the sole purpose of raising their hands, in the heat of the sun, to seek the forgiveness and mercy of God. I'm watching it live. And it has to be one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.

May Allah (Glory be to Him) forgive us with them, and give us the opportunity to make this journey of a lifetime.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006


I first saw this on Nabeel's blog and I was really disturbed by it. Though I have to admit, it's kind of brilliant and very effective. The Arabic near the end is a part of a verse from the Qur'an, translated as: "O ye who believe! Avoid suspicion as much (as possible): for suspicion in some cases is a sin: And spy not on each other behind their backs. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay, ye would abhor it. But fear Allah. For Allah is Oft-Returning, Most Merciful" (Qur'an 49:12).


Friday, December 22, 2006

Do you ever look at yourself in the mirror and think "this is not me"?

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Word to the Weird

Maliha tagged me and now I comply, here: six weird things about me...dun dun dunnnn

Well, my whole blog is about me doing and saying weird things, so I suppose I'll have to conjure up some new crazy things about me that you didn't know before:

1. I love corny jokes. "So it's unfair that men only want to marry fair women, eh?" Get it...unfair, fair...when my friend told me that, I was on the floor! You sitting on the floor. Hahaha okay I'll stop now.

2. I'm actually really really angry right now (like, hatred has engulfed me, my blood is boiling, etc.) even though I'm writing a humourous post. So I can be funny while being mad? I guess so.

3. Sometimes I can't speak. The words just don't come out properly. I'll be like "hey, can you pass me that thing? What's it called? YOU KNOW, THAT THING! GAH! I HATE LANGUAGE!" (meanwhile, it's just an apple or something).

4. I wear black a lot. When I'm feeling really crazy, I'll burst out the navy blue. So yeah, according to Arab standards I'm not very girly. In fact, I'm a man. All I need now is a beard.

5. People are always remarking about how weird I am, but when I ask them to give me specific weird things, they can't. Isn't that weird?

6. I'm turning 21 soon and I feel like I'm still 17. Maybe it's the fact that I always carry around at least 2 or 3 bouncy balls in my bag.

7. (I know I was only supposed to post 6, but...well...I'm weird.) I googled "weird" and I found this, and now I want it:

Weird, eh?

Friday, December 15, 2006

Scholarly Osmosis

Apparently I'm uber religious. And I'm also the female scholar of the area. Don't ask me how this happened, it just did.

I was talking to a friend of mine today and she was telling me about her grandfather who passed away. Then she paused and said "Allah yirhamo" (May Allah have mercy on him), and asked me "is that what I should say when I talk about someone who passed away?" And I replied "umm, yeah I guess so." And she says, "well, you're the religious one (pointing to my abaya), you would know."

So yeah, my abaya makes me know these things. It's like the cloth is infused with Islamic knowledge - once someone puts it on, BAM it's fatwa time!

If that's true, I wonder what school of thought Michael Jackson specializes in...

My kinda gym

Monday, December 11, 2006

Innocence (caution: mature subject matter ahead)

This story is disturbing and yet true. It is not for the sensitive, easily-offended individuals out there.

A friend told me that this happened to a friend of hers.

There was a man who went to pray in the mosque with his young son. While they were in prayer, the imam rose for the next rakah. Everyone followed. The young son was standing beside his father when he noticed something interesting infront of him. He noticed that as the man rose, his white galabiya (thobe) became lodged between his rear.

The young boy thought of helping this man, so he reached forward and innocently pulled out the galabiya from where it was stuck. Then he looked at his father. His father gave him a dirty look look to tell him that he had done something horribly wrong.

The young boy was surprised because he had simply intended to help the man praying infront of him. Then he thought of correcting his mistake by using simple logic...

He reached forward once again and with his tiny fingers proceeded to return the galabiya to where it was. Thats right. His small hands repeatedly poked the galabiya back inside. You can imagine the row of men snickering and laughing uncontrollably. Needless to say, that was the end of the Jama'a prayer as everyone in the back row began laughing hysterically at this sight. The imam had to stop the prayer.

The men then told the imam about what the young boy did. He of course joined in the laughter. And of course, the young boy was still confused.

Ah, the innocent minds of young babes.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Middle Child Syndrome

We went to the mosque today for a lecture on science in the Qur'an. So we arrived - a bit late, obviously.

We parked and everyone was getting out of the car, but since I was sitting in the back, I was the last to be able to exit. Alas, before I could exit, my sister swung the door shut and my dad promptly locked the car with his automatic remote locking thingy. They forgot I was in the car. The funny thing is that my sister turned around after a while, bewildered, and said "hey, where's Asmaa?"

This is what happens when you're the middle child.

Monday, December 04, 2006

more weird texts and some crazy matrimonials

Side note: I decided to put both these things in one post because they're equally stupid...

More text messages from a random sender. I'm scared.

4:29pm Warning! From the beginning of time man has yearned to destroy the sun. Now the hope lies with you! Stop that sun from its evil ways. Only you can save us all!

4:31pm Animal for thought: does having more humps make a camel feel more proud? How does a horse feel then for lacking humps? What about a donkey or a mule?

4:32pm Animal for thought: if dogs could talk would they complain about being leashed by their owners and the smell of their owners crotch?

4:35pm Relax. What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind!

4:37pm When feeling down just remember that people have stood in your way long enough. That's when you need to go to clown college!

4:39pm The lesson is: our God is vengeful! O spiteful one, show me who to smite and they shall be smoten!!!

4:43pm animal for thought: being eaten by a crocodile is just like going to sleep. In a giant blender


Now, some matrimonials that I came across while reading Horizons Magazine. They made me laugh. And then I stopped laughing and I was just plain annoyed:

Sunni Pakistani Punjabi parents, both physicians, invite correspondence for their 31 years old MD daughter in final year of residency at prestigious university hospital. Seeking MD of similar background.

Pakistani Sunni Parents invite correspondence from an MD/DO for their daughter who was born and raised in the U.S. and is in her final year of residency in family practise.

37 year old, good-looking Pakistani Muslim, Sunni, (physician, U.S. citizen) looking for a beautiful girl between 25-30 years, preferably a Doctor's/Master's degree.

Sunni Muslim Indian parents from California incite correspondence for their 26-year-old son (MD, 2nd year medical resident at a prestigious university hospital) from a well-educated, fair, 20-26 year old muslimah of Indo-Pakistani origin.

My questions:

1. why are they all doctors?
2. why are they all Sunni and from South Asia?
3. why do the female doctors need to marry male doctors and vice versa?
4. why do ugly guys want to marry pretty "fair" girls?

Saturday, December 02, 2006

will you (arrange to) marry me?

This post comes in reaction to some ideas about arranged marriages that I've been hearing lately. It annoys me that people view this in such an ethnocentric way.

What the Western tradition holds true about love and marriage may work for some (though in general it really doesn't, considering the frightening divorce and single-parent rates in North America), but it doesn't work for others. The frustrating thing is that this sexually enamoured cultural system tries to force people into thinking that their way of acquiring love is THE only way. Well, it's not.

The idea of an arranged marriage is this big, scary monster in the eyes of the misinformed. But this is what an arranged marriage is, in my eyes: you get to know someone under a non-sexual pretence and within the correct boundaries (i.e. no crazy flirting or batting your pretty eyelashes at him, sorry girls).

It's being honest about commitment to a future spouse. Meeting someone with the intention of getting married forces you to be serious and to look at someone's good characteristics as well as their bad ones. You begin to admire and respect that person not for their attractiveness or charms, but because of their values and beliefs. And that's what geniune love and a lasting marriage is based on, in my opinion. And people can take as long as they need to be at ease with their decision to get married. That could be a month for one couple, or a year for another.

And when it comes to an "arranged" marriage, that's all it is: arranged. Someone "arranges" that you meet someone else. It's not a forced marriage to someone you can't stand. It's not something that should make you uncomfortable either. At the same time, it doesn't have to be "arranged." It could also happen that you become interested in someone because of his or her good qualities and then persue the interest in a good and well-intentioned way.

At the same time, I'm not saying that the Muslim way always works out perfectly. Quite the contrary; Muslims get divorced, too. Some crazy Muslim men batter their wives, too. And some severely messed up parents do force their children into marriages they don't want. And that's depicable. But these things have nothing to do with the Islamic notion of marriage. In fact, they're polar opposites.

In short, seeing arranged marriage as something barbaric is ridiculous. And the only reason people can't see beyond what is fed to them is that they won't allow themselves to.