Friday, July 16, 2010

Reinventing Asmaa

Since graduating from my Masters, I've been trying to figure out how to reinvent myself.

I'm no longer satisfied with the concept of just being a one dimensional being. I can't be contented with looking for a job and sending countless cover letters and resumes to people and places I'm barely interested in reading about, let alone working for/at. Most of all, I'm afraid to lead a life of irrelevance.

That is actually my greatest fear: to live and die without leaving any mark on this earth. You see, to have lived for nothing is akin to having not really existed.

I began my social work program because this fear had a stronghold on me. It gripped me in a way that I didn't understand up until now. And I truly believed that my field would enable me to make a difference in people's lives - it would help me feel relevant again.

Looking back on this mentality, I realize how flawed my entire thinking process was. It'll never be a field of practice or theory or a methodology that makes you relevant and memorable. It's you.

YOU make your field memorable. Not vice versa! I can live a life of relevance and beauty in so many different ways that I'm trying hard to narrow them down. If I can make my field of work relevant, that means I can make other fields and theories and methodologies and practices relevant, too!

Interestingly enough, historically we have admired those who break out of the mould and defy what's normally seen as "meaningful" work.

Which brings me to my final point - I want to reinvent myself because I don't fit into a mould. That's why I've been having trouble finding my footing and often feeling confused and unsure of how to be a catalyst for change.

I've got news for you. I make the mould.


Anonymous said...

i think ur writing has already made u someone that has left a mark. ur readers are dedicated and look forward to ur next posts.
ps. and once in cyberspace, u have left ur mark for eternity.

Herman the German said...

do you need help?

sara said...

you have left a bigger mark than you realise.

Did you make this post before or after we spoke about not fitting into moulds?

Asmaa said...

Your comments make me smile. Except for Herman the German - who should rename himself Dirk the Jerk.

Sara, I made this post after our conversation. I didn't remember it til you mentioned it - I guess it made its way into my psyche :D

Herman The German said...

"Except for Herman the German - who should rename himself Dirk the Jerk".

I am not sure why you wrote that... I was sincerly looking forward to find out about your take on this life and how you are going to find your way into the real life after graduation.. I posed the help question and I was looking forward from you to ask for it to find out at least see what other people can offer..even if you don't know them. but as usuall you being arrogent and trying to make other people laugh at your comments on other readers.. it seems that you are not only ugly outward but inward too... you don't need only reinventing .. indeed you need a plastic surgery as well.

Asmaa said...

Herman, sorry I really thought your earlier comment was made in jest and you were poking fun at me. My Dirk the Jerk comment was also made in jest. I call everyone a jerk.

No need to get angry.

Herman the German said...

Your apology been accepted.

this is for you.

Lesson 1

Nauman said...

The first step to finding a path is being prepared to walk all over the grass...