On the Superiority of Free Food

Driven by a general school-induced state of poverty, free food (when I'm not at home) has always had a special glistening appeal. Free food and I, however, have an interesting relationship. Sometimes it's great, sometimes not so much.

In undergrad, I somehow found myself at multitudes of events that served free food (I will credit my over zealous involvement in student life). And not just your run-of-the-mill stale pizza - sometimes I would luck out and happen upon high class unversity luncheons and such with strange and yummy delicacies. I developed a reputation for being a free food magnet. Whenever I would hang out with a friend, that friend would inevitably receive free food as well. Needless to say, this made me popular.

It also gave me a twisted sort of satisfaction that I was finally getting something free from a university that was akin to a parasite burrowing through my bank account.

Recently, however, this trend has seen some rough times. For example, I hear of an event at my faculty that is serving food and all the little piggish molecules in my brain start jumping up and down with glee. But when I arrive, I find that there's only pepperoni pizza at this event. My poor brain molecules are on such a high by this time that the disappointment and resentment of all things oinky is grand indeed.

Why, you ask, am I so thoroughly obsessed? Well you see, just as some humans go deer hunting for sport, and some go hunting for crazy discounts on shoes, bags, electronics, etc., I also embark on such a journey of thrill. Except my thrill is to hunt for free food.

As twisted as it sounds, there's something so shiny and appealing about taking a bite into something that someone else paid for. I mean, a slice of pizza or cake you didn't pay for tastes oh so much sweeter than one you've had to fork over a couple of bucks for.

In conclusion, I shall continue to refine my skills in this valuable arena. Any suggestions for personal improvement are welcome.

School Sucks

I woke up Monday morning to make it to my 9am class, but my stomach was killing me & I ended up staying home and vomiting instead.

If you ask me, it was a great Monday considering I didn't have to start school. Three months people, three more months and I'll be done with school forever inshaAllah.

(2am rant. why are you reading this, creeps?)

evil much

I thought of a really evil prank (it only works for people with glasses). Basically, you know those special cloths that people use to clean their glasses? Well if you really hated someone, you could get a hold of their cloth and drench it in any kind of oil. When they wipe their glasses, the lenses will be all streaked and they'll be really frustrated and have to work really hard to get that stuff off. Heh heh. Well...at least it would make ME laugh.

"I haven't posted on my blog since last year!" and other corny Asmaa jokes

Awful and corny new year jokes are not going to get old until February (just a warning).

I was recently thinking about bread. Yeah, bread. When we were little, my brother opened a pack of pita bread and took 2 bites out of one. He then carefully closed the bag so that it would look like it hadn't been tampered with.

My parents saw the bite marks on the bread in a presumably new bag and quickly threw the entire bag out, fearful that it was chewed on by mice at the store or something.

I remembered that and it made me laugh, because only years later did my brother actually admit to taking those bites! Haha.

I guess it's because my interior is so vulnerable, that I deflect, deny, argue. Because when I'm wrong, it hurts in places I never knew existed. When I get cut down, I break down. When my work is belittled, I start believing that I'm useless, too.

I'm sad that I have to look for appreciation and understanding from people who don't mean as much to me as you.

haphazard

I'm currently in the midst of a 3-day visioning seminar. This one. Thus far I've realized that almost everything I have done in my life has been completely haphazard, for no higher goal really. For no spectacular ultimate vision. I'm disappointed in myself, and I'm wondering if I'll have the courage to do truly great things.

More on that later.

A brief summary of the year

In 2009, I:

Fell in love.

Bought 12 metropasses.

Got hooked on House.

Went from being a follower to a leader.

Realized that my chosen field may not be the right field for me.

Took 5 double-weekend, and 3 single-weekend courses on Islam, and still feel like I might never be close to God.

Went to Egypt and met my niece for the first time.

Got to see one of my best friends happily engaged.

Had my heart badly broken and clumsily splinted.

Complained to Allah.

Bought leather gloves and realized they don't keep my hands warm.

Wrote possibly the most painful, real post in my blog's history.

Opened one fortune cookie and regretted it.

Regretted at least 364 other things I can remember.

Was sad.

Still smiled.

Found that I had 500 facebook friends, but very few actual friends.

Cried a lot. Then laughed, then cried some more.

Will be going from age 23 to 24, God willing.

Perhaps 2010 brings something better.

boy

My brother and his wife came back from hajj yesterday. They were gone for a month, and they left my 1.5 year-old nephew Adam with us. He was crazy; pulling out eggs from the fridge, making sure everyone was awake by banging on our doors and screaming, drawing all over his face with permanent marker, etc.

He's gone now, and I miss him.

Hair Today, Guilty Tomorrow

I remember once when my younger sister was around 8 or 9 years old, we decided that I could cut her hair. I was probably around 15 or so. I don't think I got my mom's permission before I did it.

Well she looked normal before the haircut. After it, she looked like a mushroom head - because I decided to go creative and do "layers." Like so:


I think she looked in the mirror afterwards and realized her hair was exceedingly ugly. I felt bad and she tried to make me feel better. Even though I'm the one who ruined her hair.

You know when someone does something bad to you and they apologize profusely because they feel really bad about it - and you begin to feel guilty about their guilt, because it's excessive. It's weird that the roles get reversed like that. Humans are weird.

Either way, thank God her hair grew back. The end.

But also, someone really needs to kick me for the embarrassing lameness of this post's title.

Does anyone else find it ironic that "Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia" means the fear of long words?