Monday, August 08, 2005

It's Gone from Light to Grey

My stomach ties itself up into knots so tight that I can hardly breathe. My sister is getting married sometime next week. In Egypt. Except that I'm not going with her. I'm not going to be at my sister's wedding. No matter how many times I say it, it just doesn't seem real. One half of me is just depressed, the other half is full of anger at the circumstances that happen to prevent me from going. I know that in the scheme of things, it really isn't that big of a deal, but I can't seem to get over this. I guess I have learned something about myself in recent days: when I feel something, I really feel it. It somehow feels juvenile to cry about something that I can't change.

9 comments:

Safiyyah said...

Girl, why aren't you going?! I know I'd be horrified if I couldn't be at one of my bro's weddings, so I can only imagine what you're going though. May Allaah (SWT) make it easy for you.

Congrats to your sister. Please convey my salaam to her. Is she going to live in Egypt?

Fatima B said...

Which sister is getting married???

Some one please tell me so I can at least email them my mabrouks!!

Asmaa said...

Mariam's getting married, InshaAllah

Modest Hijabi said...

The one who came to Almaghrib?

sara said...

Congrats to Mariam.

I know how you feel, it was really sucky when ZM did her Nikkah in Pakistan without any of us, but I think it was probably harder on her than us.

If you need to talk, you know the number.

brotherhood said...

damn :(
hey hope ur ok (f)

Asmaa said...

Sara, let's go t-shirt shopping.

Squeeky said...

Assalaamu Alaikum,

Asmaa ... awww you can't attend your sister's wedding?! I don't know your reasons but I'm truly sorry :( I'm sure she knows that your thoughts and du'as will always be with her.

Wow, no doubt it's going to be tough but things are meant to be this way. Allahu Alim

sara said...

Seriously, let's go. You make a plan and I'll follow it.

Maybe sometime next week because then my sister will be gone and I will be FREEEEEE.