Baby Adam

I am officially an aunt as of May 21, 2008. Bloggers, welcome Baby Adam to this world: The story of his birth is rather an interesting one. He was 2 weeks overdue, so the doctors decided to induce my sister-in-law's labour. It went on for about two days, so we were all just waiting for some news.

Adam was born with the umbilical cord around his neck, not breathing. After a few minutes he was okay, alhamdulillah, but still needed to be put into a special care unit for infants. We went to visit him that day, and it was quite the sight to be seen...

7 of us - my siblings and parents were in the waiting room, and only two of us were allowed to see him at a time. And it was heart-wrenching, to see his little body hooked up to an IV, and breathing in extra oxygen through a mask of sorts. And yet, he was still the most beautiful baby I'd ever seen.

My brother, a first-time father, was in a state of stress and worry the entire time. And for good reason. He was asking us to make dua for Adam that Allah (swt) would grant him health. And it was interesting - suddenly someone who's usually easy-going and light-hearted becomes a worried and protective father. In a span of 2-3 days, he's completely changed. Seeing him hold Adam in his arms was an interesting mix of emotions. My family is growing up.

It was raining that day. A sign of Mercy from Allah. And I think we were all praying that Adam would be a source of mercy, too. He is the first baby in our family, so maybe the novelty of being related to such a beautiful thing will wear off eventually, but not soon I hope.

Alhamdulillah Adam's completely fine now, crying and eating and crying and eating some more; it was just a scare. But it makes you realize just how many things can go wrong, and how every baby is a perfect miracle.

High-Tech Prayer Rug

Check this out. I find it neat that he's incorporating Islam into his PhD.

Get your PhD whilst racking up on rewards for making prayer easier and more accessible for people. Now that is a good plan.

(And an interesting aside. I've done this a few times and believe me, it is rather disturbing in the morning when you check your phone)

Mom fired over Timbit

I thought this was rather interesting.

Suddenly I feel like eating timbits. But I'll pay for them.

Tax Season

Asmaa wakes up on a chill February morn
but her oh so cheerful face turns to scorn

when she spies that suspicious envelope
she knows there is little hope.

they are her dreaded T4 slips
"oh hell no" she mouths with her lips

for this means tax season is just beginning
if she were a man, her hair would be thinning.

March comes and goes
but April starts her woes.

There are tons of rough drafts lying on her desk
the scene is ugly - nay, grotesque

more horrible than a gripping horror tale
for she has a hidden fear that she will fail

and her money will land in the hands of the Agency
they'll go on a rampage to collect their fees

and so Asmaa lies on her bed
capturing her whole body is this feeling of dread

all she can tangibly do is pray
but there is no escape from the CRA

Proving our Canadian-ness

As you have likely heard by now, the charges against 4 more of the "Toronto 18" have been stayed (charges of 3 youth were already stayed last year). Click here or here for more on that.

It seems that our collective duas, as expressed here are slowly but surely being answered.

This is good news, for both the Muslim and non-Muslim community. We are slowly being exonerated of accusations that had little merit to begin with. No matter how blue in the face Muslims get, trying to explain that Islam does not endorse terrorism, the media has a tendency to instill irrational fears in the hearts of the public.

And now, charges have been stayed without these individuals even getting to a trial. Surprising, isn't it? I will refrain from writing anything about the others who are still in prison, some in solitary confinement for months on end.

Although this is good news, the comments I'm seeing from of our fellow Canadians are really astounding. One of the comments I've read (you can see all the comments at the link I provided above) is as follows:

"They have proof that at least SOME of them were planning something wrong, and those ones will (hopefully) be brought to justice. There were bound to be a few associates or mere friends taken down in the process, but let that be a warning to muslims. WATCH WHO YOU HANG OUT WITH, or better yet rat any extremists you know out yourselves, it will let the rest of Canada start to think of you in a better light."

According to this individual, in order for Canada to think of us Muslims in a better light, we need to be divided and fight against one another. We must always be suspicious towards other Muslims and "rat" on those whom we suspect to be doing wrong.

Put more simply, in order to be accepted into the generous hearts of Canadians, we have to prove our Canadian-ness. It isn't enough anymore to be born and raised here. It isn't enough that our community is more highly educated than the average Canadian and we are contributing to the economy in massive ways. It isn't enough that our mosques run community outreach programs, food drives, fundraising initiatives for the homeless. Apparently for Muslims, it's just not enough to be decent human beings.

But oh, we dearly want all Canadians to love us! So, let's start ratting out our Muslim neighbours who went camping last summer!

Ridiculous.

To be clear, I'm not advocating anything related to terrorism, which is abhorrent and disgusting to say the least. Rather, it is interesting to see the reactions that are elicited by people when you start throwing around that dreaded T-word.

And hey, how does one even define what is "Canadian" anyways? The age old question. At the end of the day, if we Muslims are trying to "prove" that we belong to an identity that is so fluid in and of itself, we're just paving the way to more confusion about our own identities.

I am a decent human being but I maintain my own identity - one that I have formed for myself by weighing in all aspects of my surroundings, one that I think will make me a stronger and better person. That is all I can offer. If that's not enough to make me a "Canadian" or make the public see me in a better light, well then that makes me sad, but I am still unwavering.

--

As human beings in the 21st century, we live in a culture that is entrenched in fear. We think that there is an evil force behind every corner we turn and that everyone is out to get us. Before we are ever able to move on and think about the world objectively, we need to shed these hurtful stereotypes. Non-Muslims perhaps need to come to terms with Muslims being an integral part of the Canadian mosaic.

And Muslims aren't off the hook either. We have some pretty negative stereotypes of our own - often thinking that anyone who's skin is lighter than ours is a bigot.

In short, none of us are without fault. We each have ways to go, but we need to strive to make sure our society moves forward in a productive and fair manner. I hope, God-willing, that the rest of the individuals who are not out of prison yet will be given a fair judgment as well.

Change

Do you ever suddenly stop what you're doing and look at your life, and the lives of people around you and think when did all this happen?

Rolling up the rim

The following is a sad tribute to my ever-growing pool of lost cups (I have yet to win a single thing), written by a friend.

There was once this lady
Who was a little shady

She would buy lots of tea
Rubbing her hands with glee

She whispers, ‘roll up the rim to win’
The corner of her lips forming a grin

She drinks her tea fast
To roll the rim at last

Quickly, with her hands begins to roll
Hopes of victory runs through her soul

Her excited eyes
Look up to the skies

‘please play again’

She tosses her cup to the side
For so many times she’s tried

Tomorrow’s another day
For just another play

Random Updates

March 18, 2008: at long last, gained G1 license.

March 19, 2008: lost job.

March 20, 2008: began job search with large amounts of chocolate in hand.

Rolling up the Rim

So it's that time of the year again with Tim Horton's Roll up the Rim to win cup craze. You all know what I'm talking about, unless you're from the deep south, in which case I feel sorry for you (for several reasons).

But anyways, I have a problem. Possibly psychological. I can't wait to finish my drink before rolling up the rim. I have to do it way before I finish my drink, maybe even before I start. You see, I can't very well enjoy my cup of (insert drink name here) unless I know whether I've won or lost. Losing after drinking it leaves me with an empty feeling, but knowing that I've lost beforehand gives me an opportunity to recover from my grief whilst drinking.

I have bought 3 liquid beverages so far this season, and have yet to win anything. I will report on any future successes. I don't even want the car or TV or big prizes. I just want a free tea :D

okay bye.

Confessions of a Hijabi trying to beat her Quadrapop score.

I am on the subway, head lowered staring intently at my cell phone screen (I am attempting to beat my already ridiculously high score on Quadrapop - akin to tetris). My mind is completely engrossed in perplexing thoughts of which piece to place where when I briefly lose focus and suffer those heart breaking words: Game Over. Sigh, well there's always tomorrow on the bus.

I glance up to survey my surroundings, and find about 4 to 5 people looking at me, some are confused, some belligerent (these are more rare), and some staring blankly as though to signal I am simply the most interesting entity on the subway car. I am suddenly annoyed, even angry that they should stare so freely and without shame at me while I'm just trying to get from one place to another in the city, just like them.

My reactions vary. Sometimes I stare back long enough for them to abashedly look away and pretend not to have been discomfited with my gaze. Sometimes I smile at them, making them either smile back (this is rare), or just tug their lips in awkward angles, their facial expression denoting confusion.

And some days I'm just tired, and I end up looking away first, dejected at not being able to make their stomachs churn or eyelids nervously flutter. Yes, I will admit to the joy of making people step back for a moment and realize that I'm a human being with a small sense of humour, too. Sometimes I tell men I won't shake their hands just to see the look of mild bewilderment on their faces (another secret pleasure).

And you can't blame me. People have their ignorant fun with me (like random strangers asking, "do you speak English?" as a prelude to "do you have the time?") Because heaven forbid I give them the incorrect time due to the fact that I am English impaired.

Another one of my favourites is in the summer when people ask "aren't you hot in that?" I promptly reply "yes, but I'm from the desert. All I know how to be is hot." I was asked that by my employer once in September and this reply made her step back a moment and laugh. Needless to say, she never asked again (success!)

Now some will say this may not be the greatest way to reach out to non-Muslims and come to common understandings and such. But try looking different for your entire life, and constantly being reminded that you are not like us. It's stressful knowing that no matter what you achieve, or how much education you have, some people will always view you through a lens of pity as a common religiously deluded girl. That makes me sad.

This is all I've known: being pushed into the world looking and feeling unlike coworkers, classmates, and the general public. And I won't lie, sometimes I wonder what it would be like to just blend in for one day, to breathe a sigh of relief that your guard can actually be let down for a moment.

But it has never come to that because without hijab, I am the same as everyone else. I'd be drowning in a sea of sameness. And that, more than being misunderstood or scoffed at, I cannot bear.

Plus, it's too damn fun to mess with people. (If any others would like to share their reactions and/or responses to questions they get about hijab, go for it!)