Sunday, February 26, 2006

No wonder these people aren't married yet

This is from a Muslim hookup website My brother sent this to me a while back. Which really makes me wonder why he was on this site to begin with...since he's already married. Tips: BEFORE THE EVENT 1. Try to make sure that your breath and body odor are not a problem. Clean your teeth and tongue before coming to the event and/or use mints or an aromatic chewing gum to avoid bad breath. 2. Bathe before coming to the event, wear clean clothing, and use a good deodorant or body powder to avoid body odor. 3. Select the clothing you wear to the event carefully. Avoid stained clothes and clothes that have not been freshly laundered. Match the colors of what you are going to wear. Take the time to iron your clothes. Rumpled clothing can give the wrong impression. 4. If in evidence, make sure that your hair is well-groomed. If you are female and wear hijab, you will want to make sure that your scarf is clean, comfortable, and well-secured so that you do not have to spend a lot of time adjusting it during the event. 5. If you have facial hair (moustache, beard, goatee, etc.) make sure that it is well-groomed and free of lint or food particles. 6. Make sure that your socks and shoes are clean and pleasant smelling. Remember that we may break for prayers during the event, in which case, you will remove your shoes. If you have an issue with smelly feet there are several products you can buy in a drugstore to remedy this. 7. Avoid flashy clothes and jewelry and strong cologne/perfume. Less is more.

10 comments:

Pakistani84 said...

Well by those standards i should have been married by now :)

Good post...hahaha

'liya said...

OMG that was FUNNY .. it hurt to try to laugh :S

There should be a note that these kinds of things should be done regularly!

Frazza said...

Drat, I wish I read #5 before! I didn't think all that eggplant caught in my beard would be a problem.

Stylus Virus said...

Assalamu aleikum,
I don't need to even say this Asmaa, but...
"Event?"
Dear God. Women "adjusting Hijabs" and men cleaning their socks because they'll be exposed during the intrinsic Mass Prayer and goodness knows the women will be at the back admiring them (and perhaps more when they go for Rukuu'). I don't know which is worse - a menagerie of groomed goaties and permed hijabs having emphatic discourses about "completing half their faith" whilst subsequently ignoring the teensy little ayas and hadiths warning against such gatherings in the first place, or the "oh-but-it's-within-Islamic-bounds" tête-à-tête between Mr. Sparkling Teeth (Miswak, baby) and Miss Fluttery Eyes (Kohl, darling) (and we all know who the third party is. Wal-iyathu-billah).

Whilst being finely tuned to the whole single-let's-mingle-I'll-clean-myself-up-to-get-a-mate ritual, those past their nuptials are gently ignoring the fact that obligations lie in continually presenting ourselves impeccably for our spouses - and note, the word "future" was not placed before that noun.

Wallahu ta'ala a'lam, forgive me if I offended anyone, it was not my intention.

Substantial enough for you, asm? Take care.

Umar said...

i dont get it :S

was it supposed to be funny? because it's mostly common sense.

Nauman said...

Kinda sad that some people actually need a guideline like this for their own marriage - as Umar said, this stuff is common sense. It should be applied to EVERY event and situation.

Eggplant in your beard is definately a no-no.

Squeeky said...

Assalaamu Alaikum :D

If anything made me laugh, it was this:

My brother sent this to me a while back. Which really makes me wonder why he was on this site to begin with...since he's already married.

Cleanliness is a part of our imaan, so everyone should be aware of these things anyways and it should be a part of our daily lives, no matter where you are going.

Marriage is definitely stressful and especially when finding the one Allah Swt has destined you with. So one can only make du'a that they come to you easily, with the blessings of Allah Swt.

Asmaa said...

Clarification: I posted this a joke. You know, like "ha ha let's laugh at all these fools before we become like them." Oh forget it.

brotherhood, why are you winking at me?

Maria I said...

.. seriously, let's not get too serious! And before all that even, say Bismillah!

hahah!

Asmaa, heard that laughter?

Stylus Virus said...

Hello, I knew this wasn't a serious post. Hope people realised mine wasn't quite one either (Miswak babaaaay!)

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA