Tuesday, June 23, 2009

The Stink

Stink: (noun) a strong offensive smell; stench.

This stink I refer to is...the smell of unwashed skin, month-old sweaty clothing, never-brushed teeth, and occasional urine. Then add smoking/alcohol into the mix and you've got an explosively offending stench.

As a product of my field, I must help smelly people quite often. Now, I work in a low-income neighbourhood and I understand that poverty plays an important role in the physical state of a person. I am not a monster. But if I'm trying to help someone, and I can't come within a 50 metre radius because he or she smells so bad, then there is something wrong.

Seriously, there is only a certain amount of stink I can ingest into my lungs before I go into a stink-coma. I say "ingest" because the stink is so heavy and concentrated that I feel like it's actually settling in and eating away at my lungs.

If you have a home, you have access to a shower and can thus bathe yourself (homeless people I can excuse from this). You can buy a toothbrush & toothpaste at Dollarama. You can wash your clothes at a laundromat for a dollar. Or if that's too expensive for you, at least soak them in water and hang them out the window to dry - ANYTHING. I'm sorry if I'm being rude, but if any stinky people are reading this, PLEASE spare my weak nostrils from more assault.

My nose is so fatigued. In addition to this, I get extremely paranoid as I'm leaving work that I've somehow contracted the smell. I have to inconspicuously sniff my hijab and shirt as I walk out to make sure I'm not emanating the same smell.

Possible solutions that I have brainstormed:

1. Wear this shirt and hope my clients notice.

2. Wear a surgical mask and tell people it's because I'm afraid of swine flu.

3. Clothespin to pinch my nose.

4. Cover my face with my hijab and pretend it's because I'm very modest.

5. Quit my job. And field.

6. Just withstand it until it burns a hole in my lungs and/or stomach and consequently die.



Anonymous said...

u r sooooo uncompassionate!! u shud b happy 2 help instead! lolz

Asmaa said...

Anon, spend a day in my shoes, and then see if you're going to "lolz" after.

Also, a man was walking behind me and yelling obscenities at me because I'm wearing a abaya today. Sigh, can this ugly day get any worse? Watch it get worse.

Abdul said...

Salaam Asmaa,

you gotta watch this...


person with nose said...

people who stink shouldn't be allowed outside...put THAT on a shirt

Rizwan said...

Maybe it'll help if you make this your ringtone:

Asmaa said...

Abdul, wsalaam. Now if only we could isolate the "stupid gene" and genetically engineer humans without it.

Person with nose, I agree. Make the shirt and send it to me. Thanks.

Rizwan, hah! But then I need people to call me while I'm at work - specifically when there is a stinky person with me. The logistics are too complicated.